I can do a lot of stuff. I’ve learned how to do a lot of stuff and I’ve taught myself to do a lot of stuff. If I decide to get something done, more often than not, it gets done. I set fairly high standards for myself and typically live up to them. I don’t […]
Work kept cutting into my alcohol abuse. I didn’t really have much going on in my life, other than drinking, and work. For a long time, I was pretty good at both. I never lost a job or even got in trouble due to my drinking until I tried to get sober and slipped… lol. […]
Recovery. For me is less about learning how to be a better person and more about letting go of the things that keep me from my Higher Power. There’s a saying in my program, “We’re not bad people trying to get good, we’re sick people trying to get well.” That rings true for me. Although, […]
I heard it said not long ago that it’s my duty to make recovery attractive. That impacted me on a number of levels. I have a great life, I really do. Working with families, people in early recovery or those who still suffer is a poignant reminder to me of how good my life is. […]
I am a fortunate man, I have a swimming pool. One recent windless morning I dove in, the surface perfectly still. Underneath, I began to rise ahead of my wake. Opening my eyes. I could see almost nothing of the outside world; however, I could clearly see the reflection of my hands and arms on […]
Change. I don’t like it, (said in a grumpy old man voice.) One of my favorite quotes is, “The only thing I don’t like more than the way things are is change.” I’m not saying things are bad right now by any stretch, don’t get me wrong. Things are really good. But change is perennial, […]
It was a nightmare. A waking nightmare. A waking nightmare from which I could not be roused. That was my life before. I have difficulty remembering (with sufficient force) how awful it was. Remembering the relentlessness of my alcoholism for the last five years of my disease is heartbreaking. Even at the time, I felt […]
As I understand it, an average person stops drinking when they feel like they’re losing control. Two or three drinks and I’ve heard them say, “Whew, I’m starting to feel it. I had better stop.“ I never said that. Worse, I felt out of control when I wasn’t drinking. That two or three-drink feeling was […]
Here’s a thought; if alcohol did for everybody what it did for me, everyone who tried it would become an alcoholic! What I mistakenly believed alcohol gave me was what I had always been searching for… wellness, quiet, and satisfaction. I think we are all searching for these things. Drinking seemed to give me that. […]
Everything looks like a nail if all you’ve got is a hammer! Drinking was my go-to for anything life threw at me. It became my only tool. When something good happened, I drank. When something painful happened, I drank. When I was afraid, I drank. When I was celebrating, you get it. Drinking was my […]